Now, I personally find the direction they went in with Sleepaway Camp 2 a little...odd. The first one was campy, yes. (No pun intended, haha) But the sequel really ran with it and turned it up to eleven. In fact, I'd be tempted to call this a comedy, and I'm not entirely sure that wasn't the intention. Nevertheless, it is regarded as something of a cult classic, and while it's not my favorite in the series, I still like it and respect it as such. But anyway, let's get on with it. Starting with that poster above. Who in the hell IS that? It's not Angela, it's not any of the campers, it's just some chick. Although, I have to say that the fact that she's carrying Jason's hockey mask and Freddy's glove in her backpack is amusing. I like it ok, I just think it would have been a more clever poster if Angela were wearing the backpack. This poster is used for most of the DVD releases too, Unfortunately my copy is the Wal-Mart bargain bin bootleg version, and its cover looks like this:
This cover sucks ass and nothing can make up for it, not even the fact that they kept Freddy's glove. Anyway... Sleepaway Camp 2 starts off with a bunch of campers sitting around a fire telling scary stories. Eventually one of them is all "I have an OMG TRUE!!! story" and launches into a recap of Sleepaway Camp. How cliche, and didn't Friday The 13th Part 2 already do this? I'll give Sleepaway Camp 2 credit though for not actually showing us the last 15 minutes of the first movie, unlike F13P2. (Hello, if I wanted to see what happened in part 1 I would be watching it). But I digress. The campers speculate as to what happened to Angela after part 1, and somebody cracks that (s)he's in Hollywood playing Jo on The Facts Of Life. LMAO. Which is amusing to me because Pamela Springsteen, who replaced Felissa Rose as Angela in this movie, was totally a member of Tootie's Jermaine Jackson fan club in that one episode, and wow it's completely sad that I remember that.
Anyways, we get a few minutes of backstory explaining that Angela's had a complete sex change operation since the last movie and is now all girl. And apparently has had a total plastic surgery makeover. For serious, Pamela and Felissa look absolutely nothing like each other, and I demand realism from my crappy 80s slashers. Hrrmph.
Meanwhile, a mysterious counseler has told the recapper to stfu and go back to her cabin, and follows her back through the woods. Who is that masked woman? Why, it's Angela! And she's pissed that this gel-haired 20-something 80s teen has told her backstory. Angela is all "I should send you home" and gel-haired 20 something 80s teen is all "bring it" and runs off. She gets lost of course, and Angela sneaks up behind her and offs her with a blunt board. Body count: 1 By the way, I have the crappiest DVD copy of this thing ever pressed. There's no way it's not a bootleg. In the kill scene I just described, there's no music at all. I'm pretty sure the first time I ever saw it on FLIX like 5 years ago, there was music underscoring this scene. Also, it looks like the actual kill has been edited. We see Angela swing the board and then it immediately fades to black. No screams, no blood, no impact at all. Since the only DVD copy I've ever watched is this one, I have absolutely no idea if this is normal. But anyhoo...
Opening credits roll. They are completely silent and there's definitely supposed to be a rock song over them. This is my DVD player's fault, because like 6 months ago me and a friend watched it on her DVD player and the song was there clear as day. So this is both an annoyance and slightly amusing. Silent credits are funny. I'm sure the song is rockin'. Moving on.
Angela blows her little counseler's whistle and wakes up her campers and future victims. Right away we can tell who the camp slut is, as she is the only camper sleeping topless with her boobies just hangin' out. I'm sorry, who DOES that in a group setting? I could see maybe, MAYBE sleeping with a bra on. And only if it's like 118 degrees out and would be uncomfortable to sleep in a shirt. But completely topless? Nope. Doesn't happen anywhere ever, except maybe Europe. And certainly not at a camp where others' comfort levels would be a consideration. Angela agrees with me and is all "Cover up, ho."
By the way, all the campers in this movie are named after members of the Brat Pack. I caught a Demi, Ally, Mare, Molly, and Phoebe (the chick who was just killed) from the girls' cabin, and I know there's a Rob, Charlie, Emilio, Judd, and Anthony on the boys' side. This amuses me greatly, but not as much as the naming scheme in Part 3. Just you wait.
Angela takes a walk with camp owner Uncle John (HA!) and laments the fact that she had to "send (Phoebe) home." The whole "I sent them home" thing isn't annoying NOW, but it's going to get annoying really fast since that's the only excuse Angela can come up with for every. single. camper. disappearance.
Breakfast at the mess hall. Ally the Ho engages in a little good natured bitchery at the expense of the camp stoners, known as the Shit Sisters. Attention soon turns to the girl who shall be set up to be the Final Girl from now on. You may know her as the girl who changed Mike's grade so he could go on the school ski trip in that one Growing Pains episode. You may also know her as Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez's younger sister. Ironic, considering the naming scheme, amiright? But in this movie, she's known as Molly. Everyone asks Molly if she "gets stoned" and she's like "No." This is the movie's way of saying "OMG you guys she's so clean and pure! She's totes going to be the Final Girl!!!!!!eleventy!!!"
This lovely conversation is interrupted by Uncle John introducing Angela as the counseler of the week. This news doesn't go over well with the campers. Angela giddily takes the stage and calls Molly and Ally up to join her in a rousing rendition of the Happy Camper Song. This Angela's incessant talking kinda makes me miss Felissa and her patented Stares Of Stareyness. And now I have that goddamn song stuck in my head. Thanks, Angela. I kid. I have the Happy Camper song on my iPod.
Outside the mess hall, the head boys counseler T.C and his astounding mullet attempt to hit on Angela, and they both are rebuffed. Angela's like "Uuuuum I'll call you kthxbye" and TC goes "How are you gonna call me? I don't have a phone." LMAO. I don't know why that line amuses me so much. But it do.
Molly and her boy Sean are playing in the pool. They get out and start talking about their families and stuff. Sean's parents are divorced, he hates his stepdad, too bad so sad. Molly's all "I have so many brothers and sisters people call us the Brady Bunch. Giggle giggle." How original. Meanwhile, Ally apparently can't stand to see anyone but herself getting male attention, so she swims over and does her best to show off her boobs to Sean. He ignores her and goes off with Molly to go get a drink. *Does best Nelson Muntz impression* HA-HA! He totally didn't fall for your skank tricks. Cut to Angela's feet walking with purpose through the woods. There must be a problem with muted sound effects on this DVD like whoah, because nothing crunches under her shoes as she walks. It's off-putting. Anyway, the Shit Sisters are out there getting high. Not only that....they're bastardizing the Happy Camper Song with obscene lyrics! And one of them is making out with a dude! Oh no you dii-iint! Angela, are you going to stand for such blasphemous shenanigans?
Nope. Observe in the above picture Shit Sister #1 coming face to face with the charred skull of Shit Sister #2. Body Count: 2 Angela's got SS #1 tied to a barbecue thingy, and as she pours gasoline over SS1's head she admonishes her for being such a dirty junkie ho. Then she lights a match and throws it on top. Unfortunately, this looks like another edited kill because I got no gore whatsoever. Match is thrown, cut to next scene. GRR. Anyway, Body Count: 3 A bratty little imp minion is bitching (with her words horrifically un-synched to her lip movements) that she wants to GO HOME, DAMMIT! Angela is all "I think I can arrange that." Are we preparing to up the body count? Huh? Huh? Are we???? Nope. Little bitch gets to actually go home. Dammit Angela, she SASSED you! You're losing your touch. Don't let this happen again. As they watch the car pull away, Angela tells Uncle John that she "sent the Shote sisters home this morning." And Uncle John is all "Uuuuh, yeah you don't have the authority to do that, talk to me first before you do that." And Angela is all "You mean, like I JUST DID?" Hahahahaha. Snap. I like you, Angela. You're a good egg.
So, that night Angela has a counseler's meeting (or so she says) and leaves her heathen campers unsupervised in the cabin. The boys totally raid the cabin while she's out and steal the girls' undies. Too bad they were too dumbass to wait until she was out of earshot, cuz Angela walks in on the ruckus. Strangely, other than screaming at the boys to get out, she's eerily calm about it. So the girls concoct a plan to get the boys (and their underwear) back later on in the night. Unfortunately for them, Angela walks in on their shenanigans right as Mare is flashing her boobs to everybody. Methinks Mare is doomed to be Angela's next victim.
Angela and Mare are in a car with Mare bitching about how she wants to go home. Angela says that even though Mare acted like a cheap whore by flashing her boobs, Angela thinks she didn't know any better. She gives Mare a shot at redemption if she'll only say sorry. Mare is like "die bitch" so Angela reaches down and retrieves a drill. Bye bye, Mare. You're being sent home. (And once again, there are no sound effects on this DVD. Nothing more hilarious than death by silent drill) Body Count: 4
Breakfast time in the mess hall again. A bunch of boys are concocting a plan to scare Angela at that night's camp-out. That'll go over well, I'm so sure. TC and his mullet take the stage and announces that the following items have gone missing: a camp sweatshirt, a beach towel, a first-aid kit, a pair of Ray-Bans, a saw, some rope, TC's car battery, an electric drill, 10 pairs of panties, 3 bras, and 4 jock straps. May as well go ahead and tell you Angela took all those things, except possibly the panties, bras, and jock straps. Like you didn't know.
Later that day, Molly is taking a walk in the woods and comes across Angela humming to herself by an abandoned cabin. They have a heart to heart that's actually pretty sweet. Molly confesses to Angela that she likes Sean but that skank bitch Ally likes him also, and she's sooooo experienced. Angela agrees that Ally is a ho-biscuit and insinuates that she's probably full of STDs. Then she tells Molly there's nothing wrong with being a non-ho and they hug. Molly is SO going to be the Final Girl, yalls!
A bunch of campers are playing that game where you're blindfolded and reach your hand into a bunch of containers containing things like peeled grapes and everybody tells you it's eyeballs. When the campers reach Angela's container she's like "These are dead teenager brains!" When asked what's really in there, she replies "Dead teenager brains." That moment always makes me LOL. Meanwhile, the plan to scare Angela is coming along swimmingly. The brilliant scheme involves a Jason mask and a Freddy glove, both made out of paper mache it looks like. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's fantastic. Angela is on Catch People Doing Stupid Shit patrol. She discovers two 12 year old boys in their cabin looking at polaroids of topless chicks they've been collecting. Jesus Christ, how many of these girls have been walking around flashing their goodies at this camp? What is this, Girls Gone Wild? Keep your shirts on, girls. Really. The worst of it for them is that they've captured a picture of Angela in the middle of changing her shirt. Ooooh boy, now she's PISSED. I'd watch your backs, fellas. Angela shows the pictures to TC and all he does is admire them. Tool. Angela is all "I never thought pornography was funny!" Ha.
So, it's finally camp-out time. Molly and Ally and Demi are hanging out around the campfire and here's yet another instance of how shitty this DVD is. Demi says "Turn that song up!" The only problem is that my DVD has no music in this scene. Zip. Zero. Which actually makes it hilarious, because she's bopping her head to absolute silence. Demi, you crazy. Meanwhile, Judd and Anthony are trying to scare Angela with their crappy paper mache. They're hiding out in the woods waiting for her and acting like idiots. Angela shows up and totally owns them both. With no sound effects, naturally. Le sigh. Body Count: 6
While all this is going on, Ally is in the bathroom cabin with some dude, and seriously....this is THE most hilarious sex scene ever recorded onto film. There's like 10 minutes (not really, but it feels like it) of just their feet moving around while they struggle out of their clothing awkwardly, and like the only thing that happens is a lot of stomach-kissing. It's the funniest thing ever. Angela, of course, shows up to rain on the parade, and Ally is like "I got cramps!" LMFAO. Tell me Ally, would you usually bring lit candles and a radio into the bathroom if you had cramps? Angela can see right through your little ho schemes. But she won't exact her revenge on you. Yet.
Next morning, Molly and Sean are playing a cutesy game of catch. When Sean leaves, Ally waltzes up and is all "WTF Molly you told Angela I was whoring around in the bathroom" and Molly goes "Eh?" and then Ally lays on the bitchery by informing her that Sean sucks in bed. Bitch. Molly goes into her cabin to boo-hoo about it and whines to Angela whilst Ally goes off to screw some guy in the woods, and only thinks to ask AFTER the act "You don't have AIDS or anything, do you?" Great timing for that question. Really, bravo.
The time has come for Angela to exact her revenge on Ally. She lures her into the abandoned cabin in the woods by forging a note from Sean. Angela is all "I can't believe you fell for it, you're dumber than I thought." Haha, Angela I heart you. Ally meets her end by being shoved into the shitty toilet and covered in leeches. Loverly. That might have been the best death yet. Body Count: 7
During a card game in the rec hall, Sean reveals that he OMG almost attended Camp Arawak the same year Angela went on her first killing spree. How neatly tied together! He can't recall her girl name but can remember her real name (Peter). How convenient. Demi wanders into the girls cabin where Angela is playing her guitar. Dumbass Demi then launches into a monologue about how she's just spent her evening calling the houses of every single camper who had been "sent home" the whole movie and ALL their parents said they were still at camp, and isn't it strange, and for the love of God, STFU. And while she's talking Angela goes into the next room and hilariously looks for a suitable murder weapon and it's really adorable. And still Demi keeps running her yap. Shut UP before Angela kills you.....too late. Angela strangled you to death. Body Count: 8
While Angela is trying to hide Demi's body, one of the other girls barges in, and Angela has had just enough of this shit. She gets "sent home" via stabbing without sound effects. Body Count: 9 Angela has a trippy-ass dream that night that she sings the Happy Camper Song slowed down and there's a montage in there consisting of kill scenes we've already watched. And you know what else is in that montage? SOUND EFFECTS! Sweet Jesus.
Next morning, Uncle John decides he has had absolutely enough of this "sending campers home" shit of hers, and Angela is fired. As in Get Your Ass Out Before Noon fired. Gasp! Say it aint so! She goes crying into the girls cabin and tells Molly before leaving to "get her stuff." Molly enlists Sean and they go to the abandoned cabin in the woods to try to comfort Angela. Sweet, but unwise. Very, very unwise. They might have been fine if not for Sean's dumbassery. He opens the door to the cabin and discovers the bodies of everyone who's been "sent home." Angela ties up the both of 'em. TC finds them and gets a face full of acid from his own car battery. His screams of angony are silent, of course. Body Count: 10
Then there's the Scooby-Doo unmasking where Sean is all "You're Angela Baker! It was youuuuuuu!" No shit, Sherlock. And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids. Angela is all "Um yeah I spent the last four years in therapy and I'm totally cured, you all just deserved it." Then she whacks him on the head. HAHA. Angela, I wish to be your friend. Body Count: 11
Molly blacks out from the trauma, and when she comes to Angela is all maternal and wants to feed her. Then she points out Sean's head inside a broken TV and Molly screams a (silent) scream. Angela leaves to drag another random body (Body Count: 12) into the cabin, which gives Molly just enough time to break her ties and whack Angela out cold. Nice. My girl don't stay down for long though, nope. They have a (silent, sound effects-less) chase through the woods. This DVD sucks so much ass. Anyway, Molly falls off a cliff and we're led to believe she's dead.
Meanwhile, another counseler has discovered the bodies of the two polaroid-takers, Uncle John, and some other dude. Body Count: 16 Then Angela surprises her and sends her home. Body Count: 17
I must say, this movie has got a DECENT body count. That's what I like to see. So anyhow, Angela hitches a ride from a woman in a truck and gets all holier-than-thou when the woman starts smoking. That bitch. So she kills her and steals the truck. Nicely handled, Angela. Body Count: 18
Well, Molly aint dead. She comes to and goes running for help in the street. She frantically flags down the first truck that passes (uh-oh..)
The movie leaves it up in the air, but I think we can safely assume Molly buys it at this point. Body Count: 19?Roll the credits. Silently, naturally. God, I hate this DVD.
And that, my friends, was Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers. A wonderful little slice of an era gone by, with a decent amount of kills and enough comic relief to make it rewatchable once in awhile at the very least. Next time, we tackle Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland. You don't wanna miss that one, trust me.
